The English language has hundreds of thousands of words, yet for some people it's still not enough.  So what do they do?  They make up ridiculous new ones. 

I've just done some digital image enhancement to the Bergerac stamp and it appears your hunch was right Witchie.  You guys out there may need to do a browser refresh to enhance the image (Ctrl+F5), but it's clear enough to me, Bergerac has been so Shields.  The question still remains as to why he says otherwise.

Howdy folks, had a busy few days going through all my collectables or "junk" as our lass calls it, trying to find the photos of me dressed as Kojak at my auntie's do a few years ago. So far, no luck dear friends, but fear not I'll keep looking.

Howdy folks, your friend Galen here. First of all, I'd like to say it's good to be back. I've been lost for the past couple of weeks in a haze of cheap beer. I should never have had that second can.

What am I gonna get for 'er indoors?

Evening all.  As some of you are aware, I've been lying lo...I mean...I've been on holiday for the last couple of weeks.  What a joy it is to see how my (and Galen's, I understand) favourite website is "taking shape".  I'm sure the Administrator must be very proud at what he's achieved - exactly how he planned it, I would think.

In today's fast paced modern World, everyone wants stuff quick.  Nobody wants to wait for anything.  So I thought it would be good to get a list of things that, even today, you cannot get in a hour.  High quality items or complex detailed items, who knows?  I leave it in your capable hands.

Hello, Everyone, I'm starting to get a little bored after spending the last few millennia casting folk into the Fires of Mount Doom, so I thought I'd like to branch out and record an album of cover songs.

Occccchhhhhh...Hi pop pickers. ROCK-A-DOODLE-DOO! Here's a teaser for you lot - back in the "Golden Age" of Radio 1, my fab old friend Jimmy Saville hosted a quiz with the mysterious Uncle Ted in a real pub OPEN BRACKET - no sound effects in those days - CLOSED BRACKET...ochhhh.

Yes, I know what you're thinking; "has Wyle E. gone completely nuts? Why has he posted a photograph of a completely normal individual who is clearly not wearing any form of hairpiece?" Well, that's the reaction of everyone who comes across the famous All-weather Turban (AWT) for the first time.

Howdy folks

Just wondering if anyone knows who did the spread for the Wookies' Christmas do last year. Great buffet. Great entertainment. Poor venue - lot of walking involved.

Speaking of complaints - I could barely wait to get onto my favourite site this morning, after much nocturnal pacing and coconut clashing, to raise a complaint with the Administrator.

It's been brought to my attention by one of our members that there are celebrities out there with dubious hair.  It seems that as they're merrily getting on with their lives, something not quite right is lurking on top of their heads.

As I mentioned earlier, my fave Broon is Horace - but I can't bear to see him in close-up, and much prefer to glance at him from a distance (ideally out the corner of my eye). I believe the administrator has photographic evidence to back my case, and would be grateful if he could display it on this very site.

I wis in the post offfice tae collect ma pension when in bursts this chappie puffin' an' blawin' aboot needin' a passport tae fly af tae some foreign holiday.  Wha cares?  Wha would want tae fly all the way tae thon exotic place jis' tae find some dunderhied frae Auchtermuchty stayin' next door?  That's why I aye head up tae the but an' ben in the highlands.  Braw scenery, nae fowk for miles an

Howdy folks...Galen here. As you will all be aware - I'm known for my facial expressions throughout Shields. My best ones being "sympathetic eyes" and "inquisitive nose twitching". But who's your favourite sympathetic ape? Obviously I hope I get your vote. And remember, if you're unsure of what an ape is - don't be afraid to ask...I'm always sypathetic.